That Feeling again

Having that feeling again, remembering all the things we being through, the happy, upset and angry times we had with each other...

don't ask me why but that feeling just came to me. Making me wonder what went wrong? the more i think about it the more i am confuse and lost and dunno what is wrong.

I though I am through with this but I guess not. Maybe they are right I should start finding someone else to replace her.

I feel that is not right... rather let myself suffer alone then dragging another person in when I am not ready... perhaps I should just make more new friends.

Funny thing is as I am typing this, i started to recall my pass 2 relationship.

First was a 2~3 years relationship which I have no idea why we are together... Or at least the other party don't have the feeling i guess while i just like O Ok...

The most recent one is a relationship of 6 years. It kinda set me thinking and wondering have I done something wrong? I would say this relationship I am serious. Where if you asked me i will tell you I want to marry her. Yet after all this time together, she told me she don't have the feeling. It hurt me very badly when she say lets just be friends. but what hurt me even more is her saying those words to me being very emotionally, it make me feel that there is some reason behind it but she not willing to tell me.

the hardest choice is between giving up or keep trying... Honestly speaking I want to keep trying but I care that why I give up. Maybe just me feeling inferior about myself, her having a better family background compare to mine. Being a degree holder and what am I? just a diploma holder. If i really compare myself to other guys I am 100% sure she can find someone better then me.

To tell the truth how i wish she will suddenly text me and say she want it back together... but i know that is not going to happen. so got to just do my best to forget about it...

Time to get a drink tml night...